Home WellnessPersonal Development Why being attractive is better than being pretty

Why being attractive is better than being pretty

by Jen
I now know why focusing on being attractive is so much more rewarding than being pretty! It has changed my life and how I feel about myself #attractiveness #learntobeattractive

What does it mean to be pretty?

We ALL know what it means to be pretty don’t we? 

We look at glossy preened movie stars (I’ve seen lots of these in real life, the reality is NOT the same as red carpet ready!), models in magazines (heavily airbrushed) and Pinterest perfect makeup and hairstyles.

We meet “perfect” people with perfect teeth, makeup that is a perfect “natural look”, always manicured, dressed to perfection and we feel like we are not worthy enough. 

We decide we are not “pretty”

We are NOT that “pretty”.

No, we are not.

So we try to aim for perfection, we gloss and preen and compare, constantly.

We alter ourselves to try and mold ourselves into this notion of perfection.

We squeeze ourselves into too small boxes of definition, trying desperately to achieve that “pretty” status.

Being “pretty” is everything right?

Because once we are “pretty” the world is our oyster isn’t it?

NO, and NO and NO.

A haircut makes you feel good but it doesn’t change who you are.

Makeup enhances your features but it doesn’t change who you are.

Clothes look good but it doesn’t change who you are.

Plastic surgery changes who you are on the outside but it doesn’t change who YOU are.

And none of this changes or alters your soul or your self-esteem.

We are going to look at why being attractive is better than being pretty.

Focus on being attractive

But let me tell you what does:


What does that even mean!?

One of the most important things to remember is that being attractive is a learned behavior which means that each and every one of us can learn to be attractive.

How amazing is that! It’s not complicated or difficult.

What is an attractive person?

This is what Mariam Webster says it is:

attractive adjective

at·​trac·​tive | \ ə-ˈtrak-tiv  \

Definition of attractive



: arousing interest or pleasure: CHARMING

I love those words “arousing interest or pleasure: charming”

Wouldn’t you rather go through life arousing interest and pleasure, be considered charming than merely “pretty”?

Pretty is so boring and banal, so literally un-lifechanging.

Let’s break it down so we can exactly how to be attractive:

How to be interesting

Interesting people are invested in themselves but they are not narcissists.

They don’t do things because they think it will make them look good, they do things because they are fascinated and intrigued by something.

And they are lifelong learners.

These are some of the things interesting people do:

Explore – you can explore your city, find new places that you want to see, venture out of your bubble.  

Try new things – new experiences are one of the best ways to be more interesting, and you get to meet so many new people. My husband signed me up to learn fly fishing and I moaned and whined about how I didn’t want to do it and it turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done in my life!

Learn new things – sign up to do a course, a class, a YouTube video about something that interests you.

Read a lot – find a local library, join a bookclub, follow an online bookclub. I love Reese Witherspoon’s one.

Step out of their comfort zone – say yes to some things that might scare you a little, follow through on those hopes and dreams 

How to be pleasing

This is NOT about being a people-pleaser. That can be exhausting.

Pleasing people are open and honest, true with their words.

These are the characteristics of pleasing people:

Good Listeners – listen and listen some more. All people want to be understood, go out of your way to really hear what someone else is saying.

Don’t be judgemental – everyone is fighting their own battle

Follow through on commitments – be honorable with your word

Honest with themselves – be honest with who you are, figure out what you really want in life and go for it!

You may also like to read:

Tips + Tricks to get through tough times (using cognitive reframing techniques)

How to look for the beauty in the everyday: finding ways to look for the good in life

Empower yourself to make a change in your life today!

How to be charming

Again charming is not smarmy. And it’s not about being the center of attention, that’s just being obnoxious.

Charming people have these characteristics:

Kindness – extend kindness wherever possible. Kindness is one of the easiest things in the world to possess, all you need is your voice.

Generosity of spirit – think good things about people and situations

Using positive language – choose positivity. Happiness is a by-product of positivity and everyone wants to be around positive and happy people.

Humor – charming people are generally very funny and don’t mind laughing at themselves.

How being attractive is going to change your life

So how is being attractive really going to change your life?

Well, for starters you can focus on all the fun things: learning new things, looking for the good in people, being kind, finding things that are funny.

And then everything else will start to fall into place.

The happier you become the more you are going to love the reflection in the mirror.

And you won’t have changed that much on the outside, a cute haircut, some nice makeup, a new outfit BUT the major changes will have happened on the inside.

You will be more confident (because you will have more to talk about), you will be more content with your life (because you are actually chasing after your dreams), you will just generally feel more “alive” as a person.

Stick up a note on your mirror and remind yourself that being attractive is way better than being pretty, you have so much to offer the world, don’t ever forget that!

You’ve got this!

Elegant Simplicity | Lifestyle and Personal Development Blog

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Melody - 7:39 pm

Ah Jen thank you for such a poignant message. You are so right….
I am going to put that sticky note on my mirror xx

Jen - 8:33 pm

Oh well done, we need to nudge our sub-conscious on a daily basis. It will make such a difference xx

Zaka ullah - 4:44 am

Thanks to change my life

Jen - 4:35 pm

It’s my pleasure, I’m glad you are enjoying reading the blog.


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