Oh you know those times I’m talking about.
The days that just don’t go well where you feel like you are truly the worst ………….. (insert mother, father, employee, father, wife, girlfriend, husband, boyfriend).
Or those times when you are faced with searingly difficult diagnoses or decisions.
Getting through tough times, is well, tough
I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 41, completely out of the blue, I was NOT expecting that! It was such a shock as you can imagine, but I was profoundly influenced by my amazing Oncologist who told me at the very outset that my healing was going to depend on my attitude!
And it was unbelievably true, I chose in that moment, to be a “thriver” (the word “survivor” irritates me so much, surely we are all “survivors” by mere definition of being alive?? ).
One of the things that I learned to do when I was going through my treatment for cancer, was to constantly look forward. And I would do that in increments. For example, the treatment plan was only 4 rounds of chemo so by the time the 4th round had ended my hair would be growing back already. If one round had taken place, wow, only 3 more to go, almost there.
It was a daily routine of focusing forward, looking ahead, and counting down the days.
Which is why having goals, daily, weekly and monthly are so productive and gets you into such a good space.
One of the main things that kept me feeling positive throughout my diagnoses and treatment was
When you write down what
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I really want you to remember, no matter how hard life gets you down, you get an opportunity to prove just how tough and competent you are. You’ve made it this far haven’t you?
Let’s find out what Cognitive Reframing is and how it can help you in tough times
What do you do in those “moments”. The critical times, the disasters, the shameful situations?
You “cognitively reframe” at every opportunity.
Cognitive Reframing was developed by Aaron T Beck in the 1960s and helped depressed patients shift their negative thoughts toward a more positive mindset. When we are stressed and anxious it frames our mindset to be more negative. As in “of course he did that, idiot”; “why do bad things always happen in my life” etc.
Here are a few techniques you can use to help “cognitively reframe” situations in your life:
- Journaling – gather data about your moods and thoughts and figure out what it is that prompts your negative thoughts.
- Restructuing – challenge your own belief systems
- PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation) – check out YouTube videos that help you relax each muscle group.
- Relaxed Breathing – aim to bring regularity to your breath (this is a form of mindfulness)
I’ve also put together a helpful poster with some positive spins on situations. Print it out using this link and put it on your refrigerator or on a board in your office, wherever you feel it will make the most impact.
It’s the same as the PIN below.
I hope that you have some great take aways from this article and that you are well on your way to an awesome and positive life. You’ve got this!